Well, Good News All Around!

 

You know the feeling when you get a call with great news? Well that just happened and some clouds parted to let the sun come through… 

That call was this is completely unrelated to the next news, but I can’t say what it was about other then it was a good call!

Also Soupy is doing better post surgery; and thanks goodness he made it through his surgery too! At his age there was a worry that he might of not woken up from surgery or a unknown block clot could of moved… I don’t know how I would of handled loosing him back to back with Nitche…. On a happier note his anesthesia wore off late last night so his personality is slowly coming back! He started eating again today, he even started to doing his “sit and shake” trick that he learned over quarantine for his treats! Yes he is a cat that knows tricks, he is part dog I think!?!? 2020 was really long and training a cat seemed to be a good use of time… 

But he has to continue to wear the onesie for at least the next two weeks till the stitches are out… and if he starts to pick at the onesie then he as to wear a cone. Ooooooh but luckily I found buried WAY deep in the back of my moms laundry room some old baby/toddler clothes hangers for Soupy’s clothes so I can hang them up after I do his laundry! It so cute to see them hanging up to dry on the line! 

Can anyone relate to the most randomly things like seeing a cloths line of onesies that flairs up your baby fever? I swear it happens more frequently the older I’m getting! 

Back to Soupy; he was slated to go back to the vets on Saturday to have the drainage tube removed but since it is still draining they thought it would be to delayed it till Monday morning… on the 29th he has to go and have all the stitches taken out too! Oh but don’t tell him this since he doesn’t know about have to go on two more car trips!

Yours truly,

Nicklas

20 YEARS… AND WE WILL NEVER FORGET

Even after 20 years I can still remember where I was when I saw the news... I was in first grade at the time, and my teacher was able to keep what was going on from the class. However my school released us early that day and I remember hearing the what was happening once I was in the car heading home; but hearing it was much different then seeing the images on our kitchen TV.

WE WILL NEVER FORGET  9/11/2001

Yours truly,

Nicklas

Future Christmas Spirt

Now that Christmas is almost done and now we’ll have to all wait a whole another year for Christmas to come around again. It has gotten me think how in a ways perhaps we received a opportunity this year to get back to a simple holiday. Now of course I know many of us were not able to see loved ones and my thoughts especially go out to those who will forever have that empty chair around the table.

But I have a question for you to ask yourself... At its core why do we celebrate Christmas? Now there is not just one obvious answer to this question, in fact there isn’t really any wrong answer either... 

Some may answers this question as “I celebrate for religious reasons” and other may say “I am only in it for the gifts!” Now I encourage you to think for yourself to ask yourself why do you feel the need to celebrate? Maybe your answer might be because of tradition? Yet why is it a tradition... prepare as a observation you might feel the  season has become massively commercialized over the last century! 

If we look back in history, humanity has always had some form of cultures celebrate during this time of year dating back to ancient times. The Romans celebrated a festival from December 17-23 called Saturnalia which honored the god Saturn. During this time people exchanged gifts, attended parties, and of course put up some decorates... sound familiar?

So I ask again why do YOU celebrate? 

When I think about it I admit I feel like I the main reason why I celebrate Christmas is because of tradition. When I was young I couldn’t of course wait to get the time off of school and get all those presents. Yet now that I am older I see this time of year as a chance to share joy. 

I adore watching young kids interacting with Santa and see the wonder of the world though their eyes. My favorite part of holidays now is not is not the gift exchange, in fact this year my family didn’t have one. What I instead love is being able it just to sit around and connect with others. 

Before you get any ideas about me partying this year, relax I didn’t. I had a quite day within my social bubble, which is just my mom and my sister who I am presently living with. Everyone else I spoke to today with was done remotely thanks to modern technical world we live in. This though was the first year since Christmas of 2008 that I have actually been able to be home for the holiday season since normally I am working all the way though it, and believe me when I say it felt extremely weird.

Every year we always get families who venture out for the magic of a flicker on the silver screen, and just like clockwork at the end of the night we always end up getting a “thank you” out of everyone who in a way invited into my own family’s celebration. We like our guests to feel more like they are being welcome into our living room then just a going to a movie. By the end of the night so many children are factly asleep and end up getting carried out. Over the years we have watched these kids grow up, and I imagine when we see some of these kids again they are going to be at least a foot taller... The family who always come down say that going to the movies on Christmas Day has  become their family tradition. 

I apologize for my rambling, but I suppose if I had to sum up what the meaning of Christmas is to me I would have to say it is about making others happy! Bringing joy to others and seeing the smiles of children... Now will working over the holidays alway be my life? Who knows! I don’t have any way of looking onward to what Christmas will look like in the future, and I have learned Christmas is always changing. It is what we do with the changes, do we embrace them? 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays I hope that more of us strive to be more like Tiny Tim and less like Ebenezer Scrooge!

Yours truly,

Nicklas 

P.S. I hope you enjoyed my little node to “A Christmas Carol” over the couple post... Remember To Honor Christmas Pasts, Poetically Present, Future Christmas Spirt...

True Friendship

    It is amazing the difference is between friends. You would of never thought that my best friend and I growing up would ever be so close. For all those who remember Boy Meets World, the relationship between Cory and Shawn basically mirrors that of my own with my friend.

    In our relationship I was definitely Cory's character and he was just like Shawn. And before you asked I didn't have a Mr. Feeny living next door! But we were connected at the hip and he would influence me into a lot of shenanigans and I would be the voice of reason. We were quite the pair back then.

    And sadly like Shawn's character, he too didn't have the most stable home life. So he sought out whatever form of attention he could get in school. He would try for since positive attention but his parents never seemed to notice it so when that failed he switched to negative attention since that at least would catch someone's attention.

    At the end of junior high he was basically expelled from the private school we both attended. His only option was then to transferred to the public school across town, once there he started to hang out with a bad group. We started to see less and less of each other and the negative influence of that new group of so called friends he begun to run with wasn't good for him. He started smoking, tried drugs, stole, and started sleeping around.

    We would still talk on the phone occasionally and I would try to be the voice of reason and give him the positive advice that he needed so desperately bad. Since I wasn't there all the time anymore he always managed to end up in trouble. He ended up dropping out of school what would of been the end of our senior year. But luckily the tides had turned for him and he decided to enlist in the U.S. Navy.

    He did end up earning his GED and when he came and told me I was so proud of him. He had begun to beat the odds that were stacked against him. And he later even reenlisted for a second term and has started going to college online.

    Thanks to the discipline he got by joining the navy I can almost say without a doubt it had save his life. I truly believe if he hadn't enlisted he would either be in jail today or even dead. And I am immensely grateful that this was the course life put him on and I still have my best friend.

    Last time I saw him I finally came out to him, and he didn't care one bit. In fact he already knew but was waiting for me to come and tell him. In fact he even came to my defense when someone rudely came at me that night. We have been friends now for almost 20 years and I know I have a life long friendship in him and a brother! HAPPY 26th BIRTHAY!

Yours truly, 

Nicklas

A Ghost from Halloween Past

     I was thinking back on a funny story from my childhood. Let’s travel back to October of 1998, and there I was about to turn 4 years old and my mom made my Halloween costume. My mom by the way don’t sew so yes that is a pillowcase over my head. In addition she didn’t want to cut wholes in it so she taped on googly eyes and pom poms to make the face. One thing I do remember is that I was not being able to see at all, and I walk into some walls. But let’s get back into the real story.

    I have said before how I sort of grew up in a flower shop, because of that quite a few of my mom’s coworkers because like a extended family to me. So I don’t have memory of this exact conversation I had with the one florist designer however I have been told it me my entire life.

    She apparently asked me what I was going to be for Halloween that year. By the photo you I think you can tell that I was a ghost that year. In my naiveness at that age as well as not knowing in the moment the simple noun to describe my costume I said something really funny. So what did I say?

    Because the word “ghost” wasn’t in my vocabulary I described it to her as what sounded I though a ghost makes. I didn’t go with the classic “boo” but instead when the more dramatic moaning “hoo!” Only with the speech problem I had as well as the fact that I did not yet learn how “hoo” would be proper pronounced it came out very differently.

    I pronounce “hoo” as just “ho” which has is a very different meaning... especially coming out of a toddler mouth!

    After I told her I was going as a “ho” she about fell over laughing, and understandably so. Since she already know the answer to her own question before asking me she chose to ask me a different way after composing herself. She asked what does a “ho” say so then since I even back then  had a thing for the dramatics I did my best impersonation and acted out the scene and said and did a ghostly moaning “hoo.” 

Happy Halloween!

Yours truly,

Nicklas

The Tale of Three Trunks...

     One of the things I love about antiques are the stories that come with them! It has been a quite a few years now but there was this old convent that shutdown and liquidated its contents in my hometown. And of course knowing me I am always up for a antique sale. Now I will admit I am fortunate to of acquired quite a few pieces from this sale, but I am specifically think right now about the trunks I bought.

    Now I’ve said many times before that I don’t think of myself as a religious person, however I have the upmost respect for this group of women who did so much for the community. They where community leaders, they established the first hospital, they set the foundation for all the schools, and whenever the community was in need they would always step up to the plate and did whatever was needed. The world should all take a page out of their book and it would be a better place.

    The story of the covenant's founding started with three nuns who came over from Germany. These three pioneering women started the first covent of their order in the nation in the 1800s. The town they chose was in its infancy, and it was in the middle of nowhere in the untamed wilderness of Pennsylvania. These three trunks was were it started. They loaded up and left the life they knew with these three trunks and took a leap of faith into the unknown. What hidden history they hold and I am so happy that I am able to keep all three of them together, and be able to keep their story alive!

Yours truly,

Nicklas 

Side Note: Since I am renovating a entire house these trunks as well as a lot of other furniture are tightly packed away in two of the spare bedrooms that you can't even walk through without unloading. Why am I telling you this? Well, I don't have a photo of the third trunk....

As you can tell from the photo that two of them are actually a matching set but in different sizes. The third one has a arched top though!

RANDOM FACT

Steamer trunks that had a arched top were more expensive the purchase back in the day then ones with flat tops. The arched ones however were much more desirable though especially for transatlantic travel.

Why?

Because once aboard the large trunks like this would be placed in the hull of the ship for storage during the voyage. (Remember that scene from Titanic with Jack and Rose in the car?) These trunks held everything a lot of families owned who were seeking a better life and were extremely heavy.

Just as you may remember seeing in the film, these trunks were often stacked upwards of ten high. Because of the extreme weight of the trunks above the bottom few would commonly become crushed under the pressure of everything above. And the families would lose everything they owned if their trunk had the misfortune of being placed at the bottom of the stack.

A arched trunk if they could afford it however has its benefits. It doesn't allow for more trunks to stack on it due to its shape, thus granting its owner the spot on top of the pile and ensuring a chance of a safer passage of their belongings.

National Coming Out Day 2020

     Coming out was one of the scariest things I ever did, yet it was also one of the most rewarding thing too. I'd been lying to myself for over 10 years before I finally came out to myself let alone others. By that time I was 22, and had felt like my life wasn’t my own. Like many I felt this overwhelmed fear of rejection and had allowed it to take control and have power over me. I had though more of what others may think, and not of my own happiness.

    I grew up in a small conservative town in Pennsylvania where any different or diversity was note seen favorably by most. I had attended a Catholic school for K-12 and thought that the only option for me was to hid away my true self and become the image of what I had thought was expected of me to become. I guess a part of me always knew I was gay, but it wasn't until I was around 10 that I actually realized this inner truth and understood what it meant. After this revelation though I buried my feelings deep with in myself vowing never to reveal them to the world. So, I in short I decided I would be "normal."

    As the years went by I was in constantly denying any thoughts I had to myself as well as to the constant questions from my peers. Every time I felt the words "yes I'm gay" almost reach the tip of my tongue I would fast swallow them and carry on living a strangers life. By the end of this chapter of lies I had lived I will admit I was incredibly depressed and felt honestly guilty for the web of lies I strode that I did consider just end it. I felt completely alone, and I didn't know where to turn or who to talk to all the while still smiling and caring on my day as normal. I was drifting out to see and I needed a life boat since I was sinking....

    A huge step for me was when I finally came out to myself. For anyone who hasn't experienced this feeling first hand believe me when I say this is a hard first step. I ended up actually writing myself a letter where I wrote down everything and every thought I had over my lifetime. It worked, so now that I am out to myself the next step is to come out to someone else. But who?

    I feel that when first coming out people typically choose a friend that they feel will respond positively and who will also be accepting. However for me I felt at the time that I couldn't turn to any of my friends to be that rock for me due to the fact that this strangers life that I found myself living in had a girlfriend who's friends groups comprised of the same people. I feared that many of them might turn away from me, or worse tell my girlfriend at the time the truth and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. So this then leads me to ask myself the next question, "Who has always been supportive of me, been a shoulder to cry on, and my rock?"

ANSWER: MY MOM....

     Now I already knew that my mother would be accepting, she had never given me any reason to believe otherwise. Yet it took me about six months to get the nerve to tell her. Every time I would attempt to tell her my mind would be screaming what I wanted to say, however my mouth would not open. I was petrified! it would only be after she left the room that a tear would run down my cheek, and I'd ask myself again and again "Why can't I tell her?" and "Will I ever be able to?"

    The reason why I was having such a difficult time getting the words out was not because of fear of rejection, but instead I was fearful of causing my mother pain. My mom was a single mom and I feared that she would blame herself for me being gay. Would she blame herself for not having a male figure around when I was growing up? I already know that she does blame herself for not giving my sister and I a good father, so I guess my mind got the best of me. However in reality she only wished I had not internalized this and had to go through it on my own....

    And it should also come at no surprise to any mothers out there but as always my mom can tell if there is something wrong. In fact she beat me to the question trying to figure out what was going on. Now I will tell you that this wasn’t the first time she asked me this in my life, but this was the first time I was finally honest and let my truth run free. I can not explain the amount of relief one feels when the secret you have kept for so long is out there and you are finally free from it and the fear you once had vanishes away as though it never existed. It is kind of like feeling that the weight of the world finally is off your shoulders and this is the first ever real breath of air that you've taken in our life.What a relief....

    After my mom I came out to a few friends, my sister, some family members, and lets not forget my chosen family. It is so hard to believe this was only four years ago, but now I am in control over my life as well as I've seized that power that once held me back for me. Now I can be true to myself… and now I have a voice!

Your truly,

Nicklas

Bringing an idea to life!

Before I ever commit to a design I always like to draw it out so it really provides that visual representation of what's on mind. Once it is digitized I can then play around with colors and always redraw things if necessary.

If anyone has been following my story on Instagram you may have noticed I have recently started talking a lot about my master suite area. My biggest reason in doing so is that now the finishes are starting to be introduced and the room's transformation from day to day is so dramatic.

In the past I have talked about how this area in various posts but it honestly has been a real challenge from the start. Remember me talking about having to replace the floor joists? How about the near collapse of the tub into the first floor?

This room has seen it all, about four months into me owning the house the roof that needed clearly replaced gave out above this room flooded it. Since that was during the middle of winter my only option was to put a oversized tote in the middle of the room to collect the water in hopes of saving the room below.

Once spring came, as well as a new roof, the room needing to be fully gutted. And thanks to the help of my fearless mother we tacked it head on.

Once in the walls we found that all the insolation had molded year prior, and that there had been the start of a couple electrical fires in the walls. My mom still razes me about laughing at her in the moment when she was pulling down the ceiling above the bathtub a squirrels nest fell on her....

Don' worry I got my sweet karma when I was ripping out the sink and behind that drywall was a recently deceased mouse... I was told be that I screamed like a girl and I'm okay with that!

This room was also incredibly disgusting on the surface as well, and I won't dive into much detail now. However I will leave you with the image of me having to take a grinder to cut the toilet off the floor that had rusted itself in place.

I can not explain how itching I am to see more of the finishes I chose to come into play! However luckily for me that won't be that long of a wait...

And one day when it is all done I will show some before picture so you can real get a glimpse into how dramatic of a transformation this space actually went through. Although what you will see is only what was on the surface and one should never judge a book by its cover...

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

 

Yours truly,

Nicklas